Creative writing..is hard!
I have finally started work on my creative text pieces. This involves going through all my journals / diaries and re-working the raw material. It is a challenging process but I am starting to get there. I will be making a small publication of my images and texts and the combination of these will aim to show the journey from conception to miscarriage. ‘A night so dark’ is based on a text I wrote during the ‘cycle’ of trying to conceive and following recurrent miscarriages.
“A night so dark the bones ached, searing thoughts piercing sleep, awake now, dark room, dark thoughts. I am all wrong, I am broken, this body is cut down, mind overflowing, spilling outwards unable to contain its woes. All around me in different dreams they sleep, him besides me uneasy. I get up, piss into a cup printed with exotic leaves, my urine is dark, pungent. I await the test results no longer caring, all I can think of is the mirrored cabinet and the promise of relief from this head full of hell. Not pregnant. I take the pills and sink back into bed shivering. I reach for his warmth, a momentary relief. I lie on my back rigid and await the medicine’s magic. It’s a long time coming. I drift off to sleep thinking of the sweet girl in her little bed, coughing. And in other rooms in other houses women lie awake, bleeding, in pain, loosing, hope fading again. I reach into the screen to tell my story and hear about their sorrow. I can’t listen anymore but I cannot stop hearing them.”
by Marjolaine Ryley